Essen
by whootsies
Summary: Leave it to Rick to make even waiting for the waitress on a dinner date interesting.  Humanized AU


"I told you it would be crowded," Craig settled into his chair, and glanced around the room; every table around them was occupied.

Rick shrugged. "I don't mind. Do you?"

It had been a couple of long weeks at work for them, what with the chemistry team being incredibly close to developing a new gel, and the test design department putting in overtime to finish building their latest set for the wave of new test subjects. When Craig and Rick came home, they barely had any energy left to do anything other than strip down to their boxers and pass out on the bed.

Things were finally beginning to slow down now, though, and Rick suggested that they go to one of the nice restaurants that was near their apartment, specifically the fancy one that just opened up. Craig argued that it would be completely packed, but Rick insisted.

By some miraculous fortune, they managed to get a table, although it was towards the center of the room, and Craig always preferred to sit off to the side.

The waitress quickly scrawled down their choices of drinks and offhandedly commented on the kitchen being slow due to the volume of customers; with a quick breath, she handed them their menus and scurried to the next table. Craig held up his menu, eyes scanning over each item and carefully weighing his choices.

He felt the toe of Rick's shoe lightly bump his foot. He glanced up for a split second, then returned to the menu.

A low hum came from Rick's direction, and a firm nudge broke Craig's concentration.

"What _are_ you doing?" he sighed.

Rick tried his best to look innocent, but a playful grin broke out over his face. "Nothing."

Rick began lightly massaging Craig's ankle through his pants; the blond man rolled his eyes, but he didn't pull his leg away. "We haven't even eaten yet."

"So?"

"So, can you wait until, I don't know, the waitress comes back with our drinks before you start messing around?"

"Excuse me, sirs," the waitress stepped to their table, carrying a large tray with several glasses on it. She picked two wine glasses off and set one near each of them. "Two glasses of red wine, right?" They nodded.

The waitress picked two wrapped up napkins containing silverware from her apron pocket with her free hand and set them next to the glasses. She sighed, exasperated, and gestured to her tray loosely. "I'll be back to take your orders in a moment."

As soon as she left, Rick began humming nonchalantly as he took a fork out from his silverware and held it up. He dropped it to the ground, and kicked it a little under the table. "Oops."

He dove under the table, and Craig crossed his arms. "I know what you're trying to do, Rick, and it's not – " his voice caught in his throat as he felt a hand running down his thigh. He quickly pushed his chair back to look under the table, and saw Rick positioned between his knees and grinning up at him.

"We are in public, now _stop_," Craig hissed between his teeth. Rick grabbed the front legs of his chair and yanked him back forward, causing a loud squeal of wood on tile and a few heads to turn his way momentarily.

An anxious blush crept onto Craig's face, and he felt Rick firmly rubbing his groin through his slacks. He gripped the edge of the table, trying his best to keep his breathing steady. Someone walked by and bumped his chair lightly, and Craig was reminded of just how crowded it really was.

"Rick, I mean it, stop," Craig said under his breath. "Just wait until we get home, or we could leave right now…"

Rick gave a low laugh. "Naw, we don't have to leave." He tugged on his zipper and pulled his slacks down along with his boxers, freeing his erection.

Craig buried his face in his hands, mentally slapping himself for ever letting Rick talk him into coming here.

"Act like nothin's the matter," Rick wrapped his hand around Craig's cock and started stroking, eliciting a sharp gasp. "'less, you _want_ to draw attention. Which I am completely okay with."

Craig straightened up and tried to focus on something, _anything_ else. His eyes scanned over the other customers, until he saw two women, one with long dark hair pinned up in a pony tail, and the other deathly pale with white hair, staring right back at him. They were a few tables away, and he could just make out their soft laughter over the buzz of the crowd.

_Oh god, they know. _Craig felt his face grow even redder.

Rick replaced his hand with his tongue, dragging it up his length. One of Craig's hands fisted in the tablecloth, and he bit his lip in a desperate attempt to hold back a moan. He looked back at the two women who continued looking at him with a curious expression.

Craig tried his best to maintain the image that everything was perfectly normal over here, and tried sipping at his glass of wine. Rick gave a small pleased chuckle before taking Craig's entire cock in his mouth all at once. Craig choked and nearly slammed the glass onto the table. Rick was bobbing his head and it was taking all of his willpower, and then some, to not thrust his hips.

"Sir, are you alright?" the waitress was standing next to Rick's empty chair.

Craig looked up and weakly nodded.

She didn't seem convinced, but she pulled out her notepad and pen. "Are you ready to order?" She looked over at the unoccupied chair. "Oh, should I wait for him to get back?"

Craig began to nod, until Rick squeezed his thigh and pulled his mouth off of him for moment.

"Order me a pesto chicken panini," he whispered, and resumed, this time applying suction. Craig swallowed hard and wiped at the bit of sweat that was growing on his forehead.

"Um," Craig tried to clear his throat, but his voice was still shaky. "A pesto chicken panini for him."

She quickly wrote it down. "And for you, sir?"

"Nothing for me," he said quietly, and the hum of Rick's laugh caused him to squeeze his eyes shut.

The waitress took another step forward. "Sir, are you sure you're okay?"

He waved her away with a trembling hand. "I'm fine."

She shoved her notepad back into her apron pocket, smiled awkwardly and walked off.

Craig lowered his head. "I swear to God, Rick, I swear to god – " his voice cracked. Rick gave another deep hum of laughter, and Craig was finished.

His hand flew to his mouth and muffled the low groan that escaped him as he came. His nails dug into the tablecloth and his hands were shaking almost violently. Rick pulled his mouth off of him slowly and pulled his boxers and slacks back up, but didn't redo the zipper.

Rick reappeared from under the table and held up the fork proudly. "I found it."

Craig was still slightly dizzy, but he managed to choke out, "I hate you."

Rick grinned. "No one saw, not even that waitress."

He loosely gestured to the two women sitting a few tables away; the white haired one's eyes were as wide as dinner plates, and her dark haired date was laughing so hard, she was clutching her stomach. "_They_ saw."

Rick looked over at them and waved nonchalantly, before turning back to Craig and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You can pay me back when we get home."

Craig huffed and lightly nudged his foot. "You can bet I will."


End file.
